I’m pretty glad he talked to my Mom instead of my Dad. - r/AskReddit Top Posts | Reddit Stories Try Like & Subscribe Button if it still works! How can you be sure? It is with this in mind that I wish to ask her to be my bride. It's her decision, not her father's. Right now I want to ask her mother (she has no father) for her blessing to propose to her daughter. Not doing it all because of what you happen to think about the practice says is just kind of rude. There is no short answer to this question. I wouldn't put it in a question form...more like let him know you're planning on popping the question, New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the NoStupidQuestions community, Press J to jump to the feed. Reddit is super progressive so you’re gonna get a lot of responses like “Who cares? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. In another day and age, you might have asked if he was financially able to support her, but today, it is likely that a couple will need two incomes. However, even if you two have been together for years and know each other is the one, asking a father permission to marry might feel as heavy a question as the one you pop on one knee. Her parents live about 400 miles away and I have been in the mindset that you ask the parents for permission. Be intentional. If he’s easygoing, casually mention that you have a ring for his daughter and you’d love his support. If you want to marry my daughter, you bloody well ought to be able to pay for her, was the thinking. When I leave to start my own household and family, they will feel a loss, and it’ll be a big change. One of the Filipino traditions that is still practiced until this modern day is the “Pamamanhikan”, from the word “panik” which means to ascend or to climb a house’s flight of stairs. But it’s polite to ask if she’s close to her parents. The concept of the groom approaching his beloved’s parents and asking permission to marry their daughter may be old-school to some, but it is still widely entrenched in American society today. Here’s some advice that a father gave to his son about marriage: 1. How Contact with Grown Children Affects Parents’ Mood. Being her father, I am convinced the gentlemanly course is to first attain your blessing of the union. Ask for a blessing, permission kind of signifies ownership in a way. Share your love story (and the ring!). maybe then... but only when he's empty. You don’t want to get your girlfriend’s father’s blessing to marry his daughter, just to have his daughter turn you down when you propose. The old rule goes all the way to a time when marriage was up to the bride’s family, not so much the bride herself. What are your girlfriend's thoughts on this? How to Ask a Dad to Marry His Daughter. You go from boyfriend to fiancé, and from outsider to family-member. May I Marry Your Daughter? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I have a bit of a delimemma. You would think asking a father for his daughter's hand in marriage would be all about the dad. Some would find this cute/loving and others would find it debasing. Who doesn’t want to be daddy’s girl? Asking permission to marry is a time honored tradition, some in this thread jokingly mention times if the dowry but if you have been paying close attention to Telivision sitcoms which involve a love story there is most always a scene where the prospective husband shares a heart to heart moment with the soon-to-be wife's father whilst asking for permission. In fact, 70 percent of proposers ask for parental permission to marry their partner. Ask for His Advice . The moment is a mountain to overcome in almost any relationship, but I believe it’s a mountain we, as Christians, can capture for the good of the daughter, the suitor, and the father. We don't live far from her parents, they just don't know me that well. Trust your daughter’s ability to make a good choice and graciously bless them if you can. If they’re conservative they’ll adore you for asking, if they’re progressive, they might tease you a little lightheartedly, but either way, it’s a sign you’re a good egg that wants to have an open line of communication with your in-laws. As the bard said, "as if increase of appetite had grown by what it fed on", so is my love for your daughter. I didn't even ask my wife to marry me, I told her. A wet-behind-the-ears bachelor would be expected to discuss his finances with his prospective father-in-law. Proposals are getting more creative, and the same goes for asking her dad for his blessing. A 16-year-old secondary school student has narrated how her own father impregnated her and is the father of her son, who is also the man's grand son. How do I ask a Filipino father to marry his daughter? Do i need to ask my girlfriends dad for permission to marry his daughter? Also, as the parents of the bride, some/most of the expense of the wedding is (traditionally/culturally) expected to come out of their bank account, and that’s something that needs to be discussed before diving in to the whole post-proposal flurry of wedding planning thing. But in order to justify marriage, you have to express your undying commitment to their daughter. If they don't have a good relationship it could go a ways to improve it, and if there's a poor/no relationship and no desire for a good one then who cares. Choose your words wisely. I know him pretty well, as she and I have grown up together - we both turned 18 a couple weeks ago. Jenny Bradley -August 18, 2015 Share on facebook. Answer Save. Consider other family members. 34 Answers. Whether it's respectful I think depends on who or what it is you're "respecting" by doing it. To stand in his way could drive her into his arms. We’re super close. you did not ask his permission and then hers, you just asked his, and if he thought it was a good move he would give his daughter to you. If your daughter and her intended are living together, you might quip that it is about time they decided to make it legal or how glad you are that they will finally tie the knot. The two of us (myself and FIL) have always had a good relationship and he was happy I was with his daughter so there was little doubt he would say yes. It is rare in this day and age for a man to ask his future father-in-law for his daughter’s hand in marriage. 6. Your daughter means the world to me, and I hope to spend the rest of my life proving that to her. Marriage 18 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married Some of them aren't fun to think about, but they're crucial to know. If you're asking the father first, that's sexist (it's up to her not him). I am going to ask her father permission to marry his daughter however I am scared of him saying no . Read How They Asked’s 7 tips on how to ask a father to marry his daughter. You don’t want to get your girlfriend’s father’s blessing to marry his daughter, just to have his daughter turn you down when you propose. You ask for his blessing, not permission, unless he's a strict authoritarian. These days, the notion of asking for permission is still very much alive and is one of the few wedding traditions to withstand the test of time. If you get along, great! Do you know for certain that your girlfriend would like that? I have asked her what her parents would think, should we get engaged. I have a big house. I just want to do this right, as it’s a once in a lifetime event. Talk about it. A boyfriend goes to his girlfriend's father to ask for her hand in marriage. When you ask for your partner’s father’s blessing, the relationship immediately changes. we both enjoy karate, so I could ask him while we're sparring. Regardless of family dynamics, the implications of asking a father for his blessing to marry his daughter is just too off-putting for some. Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. In fact, the tradition dates back all the way to biblical times. What will he ask? Pamamanhikan is when the man and his parents visit the woman’s family and ask her parents’ blessing to marry their daughter. Have You Asked The Father Of Your Girlfriend To Marry Her And He Said No? Then tell him you are going to ask her, but you want to know if you have his blessing because it means a lot to her. Xanthippe_Voorhees November 7, 2017, 2:15pm … Or in the case of this post from Reddit’s AITA, future in-laws. By gq.co m The father says no, and the boy calls him rude. Are you ready for this kind of commitment? Do i need to ask her dad for permission or can i propose? 34 plus years ago hubby had to ask my Mom cause my Dad wasn’t home. Now it’s time to PROPOSE! Oh, I’m sure there’s a hearty contingent on the woke left who decry this as sexist, demeaning and white privileged, but as with all traditions, they have sentimental and lasting value for all those who don’t feel compelled to see sinister motives in everything older than 5 minutes ago. It is indeed traditional to ask a woman’s father if you can marry her, because traditionally, marriage was a property transfer – with you, the bride, as the property. If it’s possible, try to meet your girlfriend’s parents a few times before you decide you want to marry … My advice is to focus on her feelings first and always. But one real dad has a response to this song. 7 Questions Parents Should Ask the Man Who Wants to Marry Their Daughter. Pinterest 2. (No father around and Mom don't care) We have spent a lot of time together. If it’s possible, try to meet your girlfriend’s parents a few times before you decide you want to marry her. What Loophole Did You Find And Exploit? Have You Asked The Father Of Your Girlfriend To Marry Her And He Said No? This involves more than a quick “Oh by the way, can I marry your daughter” during halftime. I was wondering how many still plan/have asked the father to marry the daughter before asking the girlfriend. I've heard that you want to do it over drinks, but we don't drink. In The Winslow Boy, by Terence Rattigan, John Watherstone asks his prospective father-in-law, Arthur Winslow, for permission to marry Catherine. I’m in the latter camp. Whether you are on board with this long tradition of gaining the approval from the father, or want to show your respect to your partner’s family, there are a few tips you will want to know before asking father's permission to marry. Ask Amy: Dad cuts family ties after daughter doesn’t consult him before getting married Updated Jan 12, 2021; Posted Jan 12, 2021 Amy Dickinson writes the syndicated Ask Amy column. Will he be armed? Asking a father's permission to marry his daughter Are there any rules of etiquette or traditions or customs a man should follow when asking a father’s permission to marry his daughter? There are some really good questions out there to ask, and things to consider. Tell him that you’ll always honor, respect, and cherish his daughter. Out of respect for you and your family, I am letting you know my desire to marry her and allowing you an opportunity to express any concerns you might have." If you are already living with your girlfriend, it seems rather quaint to ask her father's permission to marry her. you did not ask his permission and then hers, you just asked his, and if he thought it was a good move he would give his daughter to you. How do I ask a Filipino father to marry his daughter? Try to meet him before you ask. She's been coming around for about 5 or 6 yrs. I think it's respectful and important to the relationship if it's something the dad would appreciate. It's traditional but no longer common except in cultures where the tradition is stronger than mainstream American society. Should you ask a father to marry his daughter? May I Marry Your Daughter? I'm marrying her not her family. Even her mom? He should be applauded for the respect he showed. As a daughter: I have a really good relationship with my dad. And that would hurt my feelings. You love your daughter–but that doesn’t mean you always know the most effective ways to show that love, ways that will connect with her heart, and stick with her no matter what life throws her way.. I know it is customary to ask the father first. 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